Burning out

Physical exhaustion can be fought.
Emotional exhaustion can be endured.
Mental exhaustion can be compartmentalized.

But a combination of all 3 - makes me wanna shout out in exasperation, pull hair in frustration and just plead insanity.

I need my Paradise Island. NOW.

No-regrets list

Recent conversation with someone goes like this.

She: You don't have any plans with friends this CNY?
Me: Nope.
She: Why? I thought your social calendar is usually very full every year?
Me: Not this year.
She: Oh? Your friends all out of town izzit?
Me: Nope. Lots are still in town.
She: Then why...?
Me: Just because.

If the conversation had to go so far for it to end, I didn't see any point in explaining myself. :)

I pondered. How do I explain why I am not filling up my schedule with visiting extended family members or catching up with friends, the two most popular activities during the biggest Chinese festival for all Chinese around the world.

I figured. I've been doing the same thing year in, year out. For as long as I can remember. Always busy running around trying to squeeze a friend here, a relative there, another long-time-no-see friend somewhere into my 24hour day.

I decided. How about my seen-once-in-a-while-but-always-too-busy-to-spend-quality-time-together parents? They are aging as the years roll by. Sometimes, I know they want to spend more time with me but are too proud to ask for my time. Or maybe too fearful of hearing "I am too busy". I must take full responsibility for that. I caught myself saying that to them one time too many.

So I acted. On doing things differently this year. Some understand. Some accuse me of being snooty. Well, if you understand how I chose to celebrate CNY this year, I guess you are for keeps. If you don't, oh well.

Ultimately, I am just fulfilling my 'no-regrets' list.
:)