In my bed

For awhile now, I've not shared my bed with someone else other than you.
So this week, it was indeed weird to have someone else in my bed.

Though that person isn't you,
My heart is filled with much love too.

Suddenly, I am reminded of those times many moons ago,
When she held me in her arms during nights of scary dreams.

Except that this time, I am the one doing the holding.
I am the one reminding her that everything's going to be alright.

Emotionally Challenged

On one side, she cries for attention. Demanding for love.
On the other side, they cry for help. Declaring first-degree crisis.

With much balancing skills, much patience (whilst grabbing tightly to my sanity),
I somehow pulled through another day. Of much emotions and much challenges.

Tomorrow is yet another day.

You have so much faith in me. You all do.
I cannot fail any of you.

But most of all,
I cannot fail me.

:')

Say A Prayer

I seldom pray.
Not because I don't believe in God. But because I believe I need to make things happen for me.

But now, I am almost tempted to pray.

For the strength to maintain my sanity in the midst of all the chaos.
For the courage to hold up the weak when I am feeling weak myself.
For the patience to be firm in the gentlest ways.
For the wisdom to make the best decisions.

Just almost.

'Coz I still believe I need to make things happen for me.

Oh, there are also the awesome folks who'd offer their time and love when I didn't even realise that I needed them.

So yeah.
We make things happen.   

SS

He took a long, loving look at this picture and said:
"What a handsome couple!"

Circa 1974

And all I could do was laugh and say:
"Syiok Sendiri!"

Four Past Thirty & Four Past Twenty

A decade apart, these two guys share much love for each other. 

Happy birthday, you two.
Love you loads. 

*muax*

Understanding no more

We all go through some kind of stress at some points in our lives. And we all deal with it in our own ways. Some in good ways, some not so. But eventually, we deal with it.

This I understand.

But the way you get all panicky and snappy and "sorry-but-my-sh*t-is-more-important-than-your-sh*t" gets to me. Once, sure I understand. Twice, I can understand too. Thrice, I'm not a doormat. More than that, don't be surprised if I don't jump in excitement when you call.

This you have to understand.

You feel that you've been dealt with some bad cards. You feel that others don't understand you. You feel that when the going gets tough, its h3ll out there. Well guess what? Life's unfair. Live with it.

This we already understand.

Once the novelty wears off, the politeness no longer necessary, the strange faces not so strange anymore. It becomes a task. No. A chore, more like. Of having to deal with your ways. Of having to bear with your mood swings. Of having to be understanding when I don't feel like it anymore.

So please do understand.

That I am tired of trying to understand you anymore.
I just don't want to anymore.

Understand?

...

There was supposed to be a few parts of the Bali updates but I got sidetracked. With Life.
Sorry. Will get back to the updates whenever I can.

For now, this space will be my rant zone. So bear with me :P