Being open

Simple displeasure, annoyance. Or just plain misunderstanding.
All could go terribly, terribly wrong if there is no clear communication.

But I am thankful.
For the way we are able to bear our souls, open our hearts. Basically throw it all out.

And come out of it feeling so much lighter.
So much loved. So much understood.

It's all so much better when there is clear and open communication, hmmm? :) 

Drained

At this point, I am doing the best I can with what's thrown my way. So you have to understand that I am short on tolerance when it comes to trivial matters that do not necessitate any major brainstorming or thought mapping.

I support you by being understanding. By not pushing you to do things beyond what you are ready or able to do. By leaving you to your own time and space. By making things easy so that you don't have to worry about basic everyday pressures.

What I ask from you in return is to be patient. And when you are feeling frustrated, to save your sarcasm for someone else who appreciate it. I don't.

Is that really so hard?

Support me as how I am supporting you.
Or leave.

Buddy

Hey buddy.

 

It may seem tough.
It may seem frustrating.
It may seem hopeless.

But you and I.
We know.

We're tougher.
We give frustration a new definition.
We turn doubts into hope and then reality.

We kick balls.
'Nuff said.

Special Someone

It was a date I went to weeks ago.

At first, I was a little skeptical.
Will it be awkward?
Will we not have anything much to say?
Will we end up disliking what we learn about each other?

Turned out, we had an amazing time!
And the minutes rolled into hours.

Even though it was our first real date, it seemed the decade that we knew each other counted for something. We talked like old buddies. Laughed like children. Opened our hearts, holding nothing back.

Yes, it was indeed amazing.

Life goes on after that.
Both of us swept by Life and Love.

Yet, we know.
We will never be the same again.

Paradise

The view as I head to get my cardio fix this morning.

Dream : To enjoy this view every single day of my life.

Action required : Get a flat-bellied, dashing sugar daddy to get me out of the rat race.

Reality : No flat-bellied, dashing sugar daddy but have a demanding job in the city.

Oh well.
Guess I've to find alternative ways of achieving the dream.

Time for home-hunting again, perhaps?
:)

Burning out

Physical exhaustion can be fought.
Emotional exhaustion can be endured.
Mental exhaustion can be compartmentalized.

But a combination of all 3 - makes me wanna shout out in exasperation, pull hair in frustration and just plead insanity.

I need my Paradise Island. NOW.

No-regrets list

Recent conversation with someone goes like this.

She: You don't have any plans with friends this CNY?
Me: Nope.
She: Why? I thought your social calendar is usually very full every year?
Me: Not this year.
She: Oh? Your friends all out of town izzit?
Me: Nope. Lots are still in town.
She: Then why...?
Me: Just because.

If the conversation had to go so far for it to end, I didn't see any point in explaining myself. :)

I pondered. How do I explain why I am not filling up my schedule with visiting extended family members or catching up with friends, the two most popular activities during the biggest Chinese festival for all Chinese around the world.

I figured. I've been doing the same thing year in, year out. For as long as I can remember. Always busy running around trying to squeeze a friend here, a relative there, another long-time-no-see friend somewhere into my 24hour day.

I decided. How about my seen-once-in-a-while-but-always-too-busy-to-spend-quality-time-together parents? They are aging as the years roll by. Sometimes, I know they want to spend more time with me but are too proud to ask for my time. Or maybe too fearful of hearing "I am too busy". I must take full responsibility for that. I caught myself saying that to them one time too many.

So I acted. On doing things differently this year. Some understand. Some accuse me of being snooty. Well, if you understand how I chose to celebrate CNY this year, I guess you are for keeps. If you don't, oh well.

Ultimately, I am just fulfilling my 'no-regrets' list.
:)