Curve Ball

We had great plans.
We had much anticipation.
We had been patient.

Then it happened.
The curve ball that the world talk about. Warn us about.

"Those kinda stuff only happens to others, never to us" became a reality that slapped us on our faces. Hard.

Disappointment oozed from our every pore. Frustration struck our every cell.

We endure.
We believe.
We love.

As long as we stand by each other, it will be alright.
:)

Ticket to life

This picture was circulated in the FB space some days back and whilst it took most folks down memory lane, it reminded me of my formative years.

It took me back to the days when my brother and I spent our days riding up and down the bus routes while waiting for either mom or dad to finish their shift for the day. It reminded me of the time when I knew the bus routes by heart. When we played games guessing the number of folks who'd be at the next bus stop. Such simple joy back then.

Looking back, the big bus depot opposite the city stadium that used to intimidate me doesn't seem so scary anymore. Comparing to its bustling heydays, it tugs at my heartstrings to see its current ghostly state. The price we pay for development, some say. I disagree. Public transportation is still thriving in some developed nations like Singapore. We just need to have good leaders to lead the folks on Paradise Island.

When I turned 10, my mom decided to share the family's laundry responsibility with me. "So that you can learn to be a good wife one day", she reasoned. (Funny how I turn out to be the unconventional woman today) Back then, we didn't own a washing machine. As surreal as it sounds, it was indeed an experience doing the laundry by hand. An experience not everyone can claim to have at the age of 10.

I remember the reminder to turn out the pockets of their jackets for any left behind tickets. Or coins. "The pockets need to be turned inside out to clean them properly. Else you get a clean jacket but dirty pockets", mom will remind me. So I remember. Till today.

My friends remember those days well too. Mainly for the free rides they get from my folks. Since my parents made it a point to know who our friends are, they'd recognise the faces (sometimes names of my BFFs back then) and let them save the bus fare for treats later. To this day, some of my friends fondly recall those days and ask about my parents when our paths cross.

When the government-owned bus company turned private, my parents opted for early retirement. The fun-filled bus rides stopped then. But I will never forget the times when I grew up with those buses. Those colorful tickets. Those days when my folks taught me how to be a responsible human being when I grow up.

It's a lesson I take with me as I journey the path of Life. That no matter how far I go, I must always remember my roots. And how I wouldn't be who I am today if not for those beginnings.

Thank you for making me me.

My #1 fan

Sometimes when they question my choices.
Sometimes when they mock my beliefs.
Sometimes when they judge my actions.
At all times, I stand firm.

I know what I want.
I know who I want.
I know when I want.
I know why I want.
And I most definitely know how I want it all.

So no matter how close you are to me,
Or how much you mean to me,
I will always believe in me.

The rest of the world may doubt me,
But I never will.

Please always remember that when you come preaching the high heavens to me.

New Toy : S3

I love its tag: "Designed for humans, inspired by nature"
I can so totally relate to that.
:)

Tata, fruit.
I will not miss you.
:P

Born to be us

I think about the times I felt like strangling you.
I think about the times you refused to go away.
Then I think about how we've been to hell and back.

I think about how spontaneous we are.
I think about how non-conforming we are.
Then I think about the unforgettable rides we've been on.

For the past almost-7 years,
It has been quite a journey.
One that has surpassed all the journeys we have taken in our lives.

And when I go to sleep at night thinking of you.
And wake up thinking of you,
I know I am definitely with who I was born to be with.

LYLT, b.

Luck Lick Love

I am the luckiest person in this world.

From the sandwiches you prepare for my lunch everyday,
To the dinner you make sure I eat every night.

From the early morning wake-up kisses,
To the evening welcome-home cuddles.

From the cheeky grins when you do something wrong.
To the adorable frowns when I do something wrong.

I must've done something really right in this life.
To be made the luckiest person in this world.

:D

A Crush

You looked at me.
I smiled.
You smiled back shyly.
I reminded myself to look away.
So I did.

A little bit later.

I looked up.
There you are again.
Looking yet pretending not to be looking.
I found myself doing the same.

I can't help but look.
And look, and look, and look.
And I realise you are looking too.

Maybe in another lifetime, perhaps?

Coz in this lifetime, our hearts are already stolen.
Happily stolen.
:)

My secret weapon

Many say it's impossible.
Many say it's unfair.
Most say it's downright crazy.

Some say I have a choice to say no.
Others believe the choice is not mine to say so.

Though the truth is ... to stay strong and to soldier on,
I have a secret weapon.

It's in the welcoming arms I run back to at the end of the battle day.
It's in the cuddles I get lost in late at night.
It's the featherlight kisses waking me up early in the morning.
It's definitely the love I feel in my heart.

Thank you for being here.

For being my pillar of strength.
For being my reason to believe.
For being my secret weapon.

My 5 Love

You are my Who.
My What.
My When.
My Where.
My Why.

Thanks, WongFu Productions.

For this beautiful reminder.

Reminder

EverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareason
EverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareason
EverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareason
EverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareason
EverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareasonEverythinghappensforareason

Breathe.
Smile.
Fight on.
Never give up.

Fruity Fiasco

In my entire life, I have never met a more inefficient, incompetent, inadequate, indecisive bunch of folks. Someone aptly put it today "This has got to be seen to be believed".

You'd think a task this mammoth would go through detailed processes with clear direction for all parties involved. But nooooooooo.

The teams within the team do not seem to talk the same talk nor walk the same walk. Within a single day, plans can be drawn, slashed, redrawn, reslashed and redrawn again. Then start the following day on an empty sheet. It was amusing to watch from the sidelines in the beginning but now, the amusement has turned into irritation, annoyance and frustration.

If the worshipers out there know what I know and see what I've seen, I wonder if they will remain as loyal.

Gah.

Realizing Dreams

I smell it in the air.
I feel it in my bones.
I definitely know it in my heart.

That it's near.
It's here.

Just a breath away.

Fruity Fun

In the history of our partnership, we have never seen such intensity. Such mass. Such level of anticipation and apprehension. The buzz is exhilarating and scary at the same time. No one is supposed to talk about it, yet everyone knows all about it. A look exchanged here, a smile exchanged there ...and suddenly, the room gets all charged up.

It's madness personified.

Everyone asks me if I am stressed out. If I can cope with the excitement. How I manage to keep my head on my shoulders.

My answer is simple really.

"It's just a fruit"

Impossible is nothing

A few more days and life as I know it will change. Life as WE know it will change.

Will it be for the better? Or for the worse?
Well, we will never know until we try. What we do know, however, is that things will never be the same again. Heh. Who wants to stay stagnant anyways? Maybe for some. But definitely not for us. 

So forward we march!

The path ahead will be filled with mighty challenges. Testing and pushing us to new limits. Forcing us to be creative to balance the yin and the yang in our lives. To maintain the sanity, yet bring fulfillment and satisfaction.

I am scared, yet excited at the same time.
I know you are too.

But as long as we have each other, the world is indeed our oyster.  
:)

Loving ourselves

Bitching about being unhappy.
Bitching about being unloved.
Bitching about Life's hard lessons.

Well, get this : Life is unfair. Get used to it.

I cannot sympathize if you don't believe in your own worth. I cannot sit and nod in agreement while you go on and on about unreciprocated love. 

My advice is simple, really.
How can you expect others to love you if you do not love yourself?

And then you wonder why the guys pick you up, had fun with you, and then discard you like a rag doll.
Seriously, grow up.  

Penang my home

There are many reasons I am so damn proud of this beautiful island I call home. 

This is one of them.

As I ride the train down the hill after a 2.5 hour hike, I am reminded that no matter which corners of the world I travel to, the light at the end of my tunnel will always lead me back home.

 

And home, is where I belong.
Penang, I love you.

Happy Independence Day, Malaysia

"I didn't know you are so patriotic" - a friend quipped.
Another sarcastically commented that my beloved country is not paying for my livelihood today.

I won't claim to be a patriot but no matter how far I have traveled and moved on to, a part of me will always be rooted in my homeland. I am who I am today because of my roots. So, on this day, I am proud to shout out to the world : "Merdeka!"

Not forgetting my all-time favourite Independence Day song. It is blared from speakers across the nation on this day every year, without fail.


Go here to listen to the YouTube and sing along.

Love you loads, my beloved Malaysia.

Restlessness + Tiredness

 Mind running at 100 mph but body wants to stop.

When the bombshell was dropped late last week, that's how I have been functioning since then. Wanting to do a million things all at once. Thanks to experience, I now have a tiny voice at the back of my head that goes "Stay focused. One task at a time. Filter out the noises. Keep goal in mind."

Fruit, as much as I dislike you, I guess we are in this together.

Couple more weeks and the roller coaster ride begins.

Divine Intervention

Just when we thought we've come to the end of the rope.
Just when we're fighting so hard to keep it all together.
Just when we believed that we're truly trialled.

The pieces just fit together, somehow.
Our smiles reaching the corners of our hearts.
Your excitement tickling me inside.

And as temporal as we may be,
we do believe that something has fallen into place.
And finally.
We see the light.

Because we never stopped believing.
Because we soldiered on relentless.
But most of all, because we deserve it.

You and I.
We definitely deserve to be happy.
Together.

What doesn't kill, strengthens

Instead of worrying too much about how I am able to carry the added responsibility placed on my already-tired shoulders, I guess I should be thankful to be presented with the opportunity to go further than most folks are allowed to venture.

So, thank you to a dear someone who sent me this today.

The fun part starts after 0.52 secs.

So stronger we will grow! :D

Of love and family

When we commit ourselves to another person, we are actually committing ourselves to the family as well. By extension, that is.

Sometimes I wonder, do folks really get this?

Do they really think that they can be happy if their other half tells them "I love you and I don't care what my family says/thinks about it. Heck, I will disown them if that's what it takes to be with you!" Or "As long as we love each other, what our families think of/behave towards us is of no importance"

Years ago, I used to believe Love is the Almighty that yields above everyone and everything else.

Years later, I still believe in the power of Love but I also learnt to believe that family plays a pivotal role in the health and happiness of the relationship. And I also learnt that to be truly happy, one must learn to manage the entire combination in order to obtain the best equation.

Easier said than done, for sure.
But absolutely necessary, I believe.

Maybe it's a culture thing with us Asians.
Or maybe it's just me.

Cutting the rope

A recent late-night conversation with a dear friend reminded me of something.
A very important life lesson.

Go here and here to read about how Batman reminded the writers of this important lesson too.

For as long as our comfort zones are there for us to fall back on, we will always be limiting ourselves to a certain degree. Only when we let go of that fear of failing, that we will truly succeed. Either succeed or die.

So book that one way ticket, baby.

For as long as you don't keep looking back, the only way is forward, yes?

New experience

Most times, we sail through well. 
Sometimes though, it gets tough and on those tough days, each hour seems to crawl slowly by.

And as time inches on, I feel frustration tear at my every cell. I know you feel the same too.
Yet, we keep up a brave front. To others and to each other.
Focus on the positive and push away the negative.

"I'm not used to this, you know. I don't usually hold on to something that hurt me. I usually fling it out and move on", I told a good friend today.

"Take it as a new experience. Give it time and something spectacular will happen that'll make you realize that what hurt you is no longer important", the good friend said to me.

Well, I am not sure if I am liking the new experience.

Questions

I am reminded of this post today.

All I can say (and repeat) is : No one is ever not good enough for anyone.

There will always be someone out there who is richer, smarter, keener, etc..

By the same token, there will also always be someone who is less of all the above.
Does that make them any less sincere? Any less deserving? Any less certain?

If we try so hard to be more than who we truly are, does that make us real? Importantly, is that sustainable? Even if we can push it to last a long, long time....can we be truly happy? Not just with others but with ourselves?

Think about it.

Time for thoughts

Some of the many thought-provoking, smile-inducing quotes seen over the weekend.

And here's a watch we'll never ever get to see.

It's neither 11 nor 12.
Can you see it?

Hope your weekend was as fulfilling as mine was.
:)

The Gift of Time

The night I met you

I never thought I'd love you

Well, not the way I have grown to love you

Or the way you have grown to love me

Friends had their doubts
Family was as nonchalant as family could get

Yet, you and I

We hung on to each other 

Through the test of time

Days, weeks, months and years rolled by

Our love and belief in each other stayed tight

"It was so good to be true that I kept waiting for the bubble to burst"
I smiled a teary smile

Admitting that I've felt the same somehow

But burst it will not, my beloved

For we have given each other true and precious gifts

The Gift of Love
The Gift of Trust

The Gift of Time

Happy birthday, Lion City

Tears of a true leader.

Malaysia needs a true leader to rise again.
We truly do.

 *titbit* Not many know that Singapore's national song is in Malay.  

What amazes me is that not every Singaporean can speak the Malay language and that means when they sing the national anthem, they don't really know what they are singing. Or do they? Hmmm.

Go here to read an interesting article on the Lion City's national song. 

Happy birthday, Singapore!
You have come far in the past 47 years and have made Asia very proud.

:D

Dare to Dream

To quote a funny friend,
"One day, I'm gonna sink me a Titanic!" 

Yup, here's to wishing that we will all eventually find our very own Titanic to target and conquer.

:D

Staying with the fight

We continue to amaze us.
With our resilience, our dedication, our beliefs.

:)

We must continue to stay focused. Continue to soldier on despite the many disappointments. Continue to fight for what we want, what we deserve and what we truly believe in. We do not stop to rest or to ponder. Doubts have no room in our plan. Sure there'll be obstacles thrown in our path. But give up, we will not.

As the motto of our favourite workout regime goes, Stay with the Fight!  

It has only just begun.

*Note* This vid is rather long at almost 9mins. Watch at your own risk/time but one thing's for sure. It is truly inspiring.

Emotional Cycle of Change (ECC)

'The only thing constant is change' - so goes the famous quote.

I couldn't agree more.
Be it work or personal, it is totally applicable. Our job, our family, our freedom - anything at all.

Found this very simplified but effective chart explaining ECC.

Read about how it works here.

Another different (and more complex) way of looking at ECC is as below chart.

Go here to have the chart explained.
May be abit dry and boring to those who are not people-managers but is still good knowledge. 

This just reinforced what I've always believed in.
Never stay constant. Always look out and be ready for changes.

Which brings my mind to the next thought :
I think it is time for some change in my life. Again.

:D

Etiquette

There are some things you do, and then there are some things you don't do.
You just ... don't. Period.

And then, there are some things you go straight to the point. Whilst there are some that you know best to keep your mouth shut.
You just ... know. Period.

Some get it, some don't.

The ones who don't, will end up being loose cannons. Running all over the place crying wolf. Irritating the s**t outta everyone.

Let's decide who we wanna be.
Then stick to that decision, shall we?

The best of Us

No one is ever 'not good enough' for anyone.
If you have given your all with your heart and soul, you are more than good enough.

All you really need is a soulful of sincerity and chestful of strength.
To shout to the world how bad you want something and how hard you'd work for it.

That, to me, is not just good enough.
It is the best that the world will ever get of you.

Until I am wrinkled and grey, I will always treasure the best of you as long as you promise to treasure the best of me.

Skeletons and demons

Never mind that it makes us a little bit sad.
Never mind that it robbed us of our much-needed rest.
Never mind that we both look like pandas the next morning.

All that we should mind is that all cards are laid down on the table.
All feelings bared. All demons faced.
All skeletons out of the closet.

I am so proud of us.
Of how far we have come. How strong we have become. How sure we have gotten.

I know I sound like a broken record but remember, remember this.

As long as you have given your best with no regrets, you are the best of who you are.
And those who truly love you will appreciate the best of you.

And for me, you are the best that will ever be for me.
Because you, as corny as it sounds, complete me.

:)

My strength, my weakness

"Why do you have to put your own needs last? Why don't you be selfish and put yourself above them all?"

"Because I am just not wired that way. Sorry."

You know how folks say that our strengths will sometimes turn into our weaknesses?
I guess it's really true.

I never thought I'd admit this...but this is one of the very few times that I wish you ain't so strong. Though it doesn't mean that I love you any less. It does, however, make me angry at the world.

Never mind.
It may very well be up to me now. It may very well mean that I have to be the strong one.

But will I end up being strong for us? Or strong for only me?
Only time can tell, we know that.

Bitchy Me

I know I am being unreasonable sometimes.
I know I make the biggest fuss over the smallest matters.
I know I can be a difficult bitch.

But I will not apologize for any of them.

Because the day you farked up all that we had, is the day you lost my respect. And like I said to you many times, you need to earn it back. It may be weeks from now. Or months. Or even frigging years. There is no definite timeline for it, really. It's all about how hard you work for it.

And until the day I am convinced that you have worked hard enough, you will have to bear with me being a bitch.

Take it or leave it.
It's your choice.

Just remember that there will not be another me. 

Gentle reminder

Honestly, I don't think anybody will go through what I go through for you. And for your sake, I hope you understand that well. Like, really well. Like, into your most inner being well.

This is not a threat.

Just a reminder that you are still on probation.

Learning & Living

Throughout this exciting journey called Life, we make mistakes. We fall down. We get hurt. We get up. We move on. And the cycle repeats itself, over and over again.

We then deal with each cycle in our own unique way.

However, do remember one thing : The lesson learnt.

No matter how sorry we may be. No matter how much longing and aching we feel in our hearts. And no matter good the other party is at defending their reasons, we have given our all too. That counts for something, doesn't it?

Cry and mourn if you have to. Be angry, be sad. Go on that emotional roller coaster ride.
But don't short change yourself.

Don't forget that for every tear you shed, you are richer in experience. You learn how to filter through empty promises. You learn how to only give to those who have already proven themselves worthy. You learn to see through the facade of lust and loneliness.

You learn.
And live on.

Stronger and surer than before.

The P Word

Regardless of where we find ourselves or which direction we move towards, we keep bumping into it.
Some hate it while others live for it.

Me? I hate it.

I know I am forced to do it sometimes. And some tell me I am quite good at it if I really want to do it. But you see, I don't. It feels completely unnatural to me. And I absolutely detest the way I feel inside when I am doing it.

But again, I know I have to do it.
It's part and parcel of surviving in the big, bad world we function in.

Sigh.

Agree to Disagree

You see the differences, I see the uniqueness.
You say it's imperfection, I say it's character.
You get frustrated, I get intrigued.

So we need to agree to disagree.

Doesn't make any of us more wrong, or more right.
It just makes us ... Us.

You are never judged for your beliefs and standards.
Why should you judge other beliefs and standards?

Until the day you come to terms with the above, you will never be able get out of this dark zone you find yourself in now. Until the day you are able to embrace the differences around you, you will never be able to rid of the negativity gnawing at you from within.

When you are ready to open up your heart, you know where to find me.
Until then, I remain me.

And I will never apologize for being me.

A strong We

When two people decide that they want to spend their lives with each other, there are many elements to consider. And one thing's for sure : Love as an element by itself is definitely not enough to guarantee blue skies and sunny days. 

Sure, it's essential. But it'll be foolish to think that it's all that's needed.

IMHO, the glue that keeps two persons together is what they believe in, how willing they are to fight for their own beliefs and what kind of sacrifices they deem crucial to stay happy together.

So yes, it's a lot of hard work.

You may tell me that you want to wake up next to me every morning. You may tell me that you believe in our love. You may tell me that you'd do anything to keep us happy.

The ultimate question I have for you is : Are you strong enough to walk this path with me? 

We both know that the path I have chosen is not popular, nor an easy one. We will encounter challenges and sometimes, even contempt from folks who do not share our beliefs. I know I can stand strong. And will fight the meanest demons to stand by my beliefs. Will you be strong enough to fight your own demons too?

I will be completely honest and tell you that I do not want to spend my life with someone who is constantly stressed about keeping others happy. I know that I will be very adamant about keeping my own happiness above everything else and by that same token, the happiness of my life partner above everything else. Sure we'd compromise on certain things between us but that's where I draw the line. No one else can dictate our definition of happiness. Not family, not friends. No one but you and me.

It doesn't mean that I love them any less. It just means that I love us more, and I know that no one else will love us if we do not love ourselves.

I hope you understand that. And understand it well.

Because without that, there is no We. Just You. And just Me.
So to have a We, there must be a strong You and Me.

I know I am.
Are you?  

Water under the bridge

It saddened me then.
It saddens me now.

That we have so much to share with each other, but none to really give at all. Hands tied behind our backs and heavy hearts, we both knew that we had to do what we had to do. For what it's worth, maybe it makes it easier to think of it as us repaying our karma. Hmmm? :)

We all have our demons to fight, you say. I really couldn't agree more. Some just take more time, and need more effort than others, I guess.

Although it's all water under the bridge now, at least let it be calm in its flow down the path of Life. Not bitter, choppy flow. It only serves to create more miserableness. And bitterness. Which over time eats at us alive from within. You and I both know this well.

As we retreat to our respective corners, we must remind ourselves that we are not alone. Be comforted with the knowledge that we have each other in our thoughts and hearts. And wish for nothing but happiness for all.

As my all-time favourite saying goes, Life is really too short to be spent miserable. Nor bitter.

Respect

It's as fragile as trust.
And requires just as much work to regain once broken.

However to me, there is a slight difference between them.

Even when I do not trust a person, I still think it's possible to respect that person. For whatever it was that broke the trust does not automatically break the respect. Not the case for respect though. If you lose my respect, it basically means I have lost everything worthwhile about you. By then, there really is no need for any trust anymore, is there?

So please. Remember this.

To keep me in your life, you have got to have my respect. It's earned of course. Not automatically granted just because. Doesn't matter if you do not have a fancy name card from an MNC. Or that you don't have a fat wallet nor zoom around in a flashy car. You only need to possess one thing, really.

A sincere and strong heart.

That's not too much to ask for, is that? 

Doing it differently

Something changed in me recently.
And I believe something changed in you too.

We have been going with the flow for awhile now.
And now, it's time to shake things up abit.

"To get different results, we have to do things differently" - so goes the famous saying.

It's true, huh.
Very applicable professionally and personally.

So differently is how we are going to be doing things from now on.
Are you ready for it?

I know I am.

Down Under

In Down Under's City of Light this week for some R&R and some quality time with loved ones.

My favorite pictures taken in the past 48 hours.

The little man with my man.
Too darn choo-bee, eh?

At Freo with one of my best babes.

Happy times, indeed.
To be locked into the treasure book of Life, for sure.

Born this way

I have to admit.

I am not really a Gaga fan. I mean, sure her music is catchy. Her videos are interesting. But would I pay to buy her CD? Nope.

After attending her concert in late-May, I will say this though : I'd pay money to watch her live. Again.

Yes, she is that good. I think I have not seen an artiste perform as well as she did. Sure I was awed with the skillful performers of Cirque du Soleil and was thrilled by the dancing elephants amidst the clucking chickens and God-knows-what-other-animals in Fantasea. But Gaga. She is a class of her own.

I mean, how can she not be anything but awesome when she looks so absolutely yummy in her S&M costume? 

There was this gal whose b'day was on 29 May 2012 and Gaga did this.

Another part that truly impressed me was when Gaga did something for her Indonesian little monsters. It made me happy and sad at the same time.

What impressed me the most was the fact the she has this ability to connect with her audience. Making each and every one in the stadium feel like she's having a private conversation with them. Yours truly included. I felt goosebumps on my arms when she talked about not giving up on what we feel passionate about. No matter what others say or do to you about it.

She had the whole stadium in complete silence when she said this:

"I walk around with a spotlight on me. And so do you. All of you are special in your own way. And if you are ever challenged by anyone, just push them aside and say "Please. You are blocking my spotlight. Move."

When the night ended, I walked out with my head held high. Confident and determined that the life choices I've picked are mine alone and they make me happy. That's all that truly matters. :)

Going Gaga

Since April, Gaga has been on an Asian tour and since March, we have purchased the tickets (almost SGD 200 which amounts to almost MYR500) to witness this entertainer perform live when she makes her pit-stop at the Lion City.

Performance dates in Singapore are 28th, 29th and 31st May 2012.

From the looks of things thus far, it is going to be a mad, mad experience. And I will definitely update this space to share what I see, feel and smell on that crazy day.

Excited, worried, anxious, bemused and most definitely ready to be blown away, that just about sums up how I feel about my date with Gaga.

BRB to update this space once I survive the date.
If I survive it. 

Tears of lessons learnt

I made someone cry today.

For refusing to take responsibility,
For refusing to learn from mistakes.
For simply refusing to be better.

So yeah, I made a person cry today.

But no, I do not feel sorry about it.

Walking Alone

As I sat there catching up with a distant relative talking about our life choices, I realized how similar we both are. How we both picked the less popular choices and ventured off the mainstream path.

"Are you happy with your choices?", I asked her.
"Definitely", she replied. 

"How about you? Ever wavered when tsk'd by so many folks?", she probed.
"Never", I said resolutely.
"Good", we shared a smile.

Suddenly, I am reminded of a recent message posted on my FB wall by a dearest galfriend.

Thanks again, WP.
And for reminding me that it's all worth it.
No matter how rough the journey.

In my bed

For awhile now, I've not shared my bed with someone else other than you.
So this week, it was indeed weird to have someone else in my bed.

Though that person isn't you,
My heart is filled with much love too.

Suddenly, I am reminded of those times many moons ago,
When she held me in her arms during nights of scary dreams.

Except that this time, I am the one doing the holding.
I am the one reminding her that everything's going to be alright.

Emotionally Challenged

On one side, she cries for attention. Demanding for love.
On the other side, they cry for help. Declaring first-degree crisis.

With much balancing skills, much patience (whilst grabbing tightly to my sanity),
I somehow pulled through another day. Of much emotions and much challenges.

Tomorrow is yet another day.

You have so much faith in me. You all do.
I cannot fail any of you.

But most of all,
I cannot fail me.

:')

Say A Prayer

I seldom pray.
Not because I don't believe in God. But because I believe I need to make things happen for me.

But now, I am almost tempted to pray.

For the strength to maintain my sanity in the midst of all the chaos.
For the courage to hold up the weak when I am feeling weak myself.
For the patience to be firm in the gentlest ways.
For the wisdom to make the best decisions.

Just almost.

'Coz I still believe I need to make things happen for me.

Oh, there are also the awesome folks who'd offer their time and love when I didn't even realise that I needed them.

So yeah.
We make things happen.   

SS

He took a long, loving look at this picture and said:
"What a handsome couple!"

Circa 1974

And all I could do was laugh and say:
"Syiok Sendiri!"

Four Past Thirty & Four Past Twenty

A decade apart, these two guys share much love for each other. 

Happy birthday, you two.
Love you loads. 

*muax*

Understanding no more

We all go through some kind of stress at some points in our lives. And we all deal with it in our own ways. Some in good ways, some not so. But eventually, we deal with it.

This I understand.

But the way you get all panicky and snappy and "sorry-but-my-sh*t-is-more-important-than-your-sh*t" gets to me. Once, sure I understand. Twice, I can understand too. Thrice, I'm not a doormat. More than that, don't be surprised if I don't jump in excitement when you call.

This you have to understand.

You feel that you've been dealt with some bad cards. You feel that others don't understand you. You feel that when the going gets tough, its h3ll out there. Well guess what? Life's unfair. Live with it.

This we already understand.

Once the novelty wears off, the politeness no longer necessary, the strange faces not so strange anymore. It becomes a task. No. A chore, more like. Of having to deal with your ways. Of having to bear with your mood swings. Of having to be understanding when I don't feel like it anymore.

So please do understand.

That I am tired of trying to understand you anymore.
I just don't want to anymore.

Understand?

...

There was supposed to be a few parts of the Bali updates but I got sidetracked. With Life.
Sorry. Will get back to the updates whenever I can.

For now, this space will be my rant zone. So bear with me :P

A Bali Affair - Part 3 (Balinese Music Experience)

For London, it's the West End.
For New York, it's the Broadway.

For Bali, it's the Kecak Dance.

Read about its history and significance here.
Go here for a good writeup on it.  

Or better yet, hop on the plane and go visit Bali to catch this live.

You can either opt for the day package that includes this live show or just pay IDR 70k (approx RM23 / USD7) for a ticket. 

Definitely a must-not-miss music experience.

A Bali Affair - Part 2 (Where & Where)

When one arrives at The Land of the Gods, one is spoilt for choices in terms of where to visit and where to rest for the night. 

So here are some tips for some of the popular areas:

• Kuta
• This is to Bali what Batu Feringghi is to Penang.

Welcome to Kuta Beach

• It is the most popular spot for alot of surfers from Down Under. Mainly because it's just a stone's throw from the famous Kuta Beach.

Sunset @ Kuta Beach.
Sunset is gorgeous everywhere in Bali

• There are many hotels/villas, pubs, clubs, souvenir shops and restaurants in this area. All way higher-priced than its worth. I guess that's the price to pay for all tourist-popular places. 
• Hard Rock Hotel and Hard Rock Cafe are located here. Go for the Hard Rock experience but don't expect much from the live band at the Cafe. We were sorely disappointed. 

Front entrance of HRH, Bali

• Prior to our trip, many friends have warned us not to book into any hotel/villa in this area and we are grateful that we took the advice. Mainly because it's very busy and definitely not a place to relax on a vacation.
• Prices for spa treatments/massages/reflexology/etc are rather inexpensive here. Whilst in Kuta, look for this place called 'Inner Glow' and pamper yourself with a Chocolate Therapy. I promise you, it'll be the best 2.5 hours spent loving yourself.
• Generally, Kuta is over-crowded. The quality of the products sold in the stores are sub-standard, the prices in the restaurants are ridiculously hiked up, there is perpetual 'machet' (refer my earlier post what this means) on the single lane road and the crowd here is very rowdy. 
• Visit this place for souvenir shopping, sure. Visit this place for some pubbing/clubbing, sure. But to lay our heads to rest for the night, nah.

• Legian
• This is adjacent to Kuta.
• Most of the spillover from Kuta will end up here.
• Just as many souvenir stores here to cater to tourists.
• Nothing spectacular in this area. Even Wikitravel has nothing much on it.

• Seminyak
• IMHO, this is the most 'balanced' place to stay in Bali. There are many shops and restaurants but they are not as commercialized as the ones in Kuta. Villas and hotels are aplenty here. One that I'd recommend is Mutiara Bali. Ping me if you want more details of our stay there. 
• There are many boutiques and shops in this area too. And it's a biiiigggg area. You can opt to stay nearer to central where it's livelier or stay nearer to the beach where it's more quiet.
• Two of Bali's must-visit night spots are located here:
• KuDeTa..You can dine at this place but be prepared to pay through your nose. To quote our guide, "KuDeTa is 2000% for tourists!" Alternatively, you can just order drinks and enjoy the sunset from here. 
• Suggested drink to order:
  The Monk (guava juice, lime juice, lychee liquor, lychee fruit, vodka)

Soaking in the sun during the day @ KuDeTa

Catching the last rays of sunset @ KuDeTa

• Potato Head. This place boasts of 3 restaurants and a beach club. You can choose to dine here or just order drinks to enjoy the view and the ambiance. For a minimum order of IDR 500k (which is equivalent to USD 55 / RM 165), you can get yourselves a lounge-bed facing the infinity pool and the beach. 
• Suggested drinks to order:
  Kookaburra (lemongrass gin & vanilla sugar muddled with mint leaves and layered with passion fruit & vanilla foam)
  Millionaire Martini (tropical fruit martini served with champagne chaser and passion fruit)

Day view @ Potato Head Beach Club

The gorgeous Infinity Pool @ Potato Head Beach Club

•  Roads are narrow in this area, so be mindful when you walk around.

• Nusa Dua
• This is a very popular place for honeymooners as it's away from the crowd and overlooks the ocean at the southern tip of the island.
• There are many luxury hotels in this area and most of them offer great sea-view. Amongst them are Westin, Marriot & Grand Hyatt.  
• This place would be what Singaporeans consider 'atas' and Malaysians consider 'high kala'. Ask your Malaysian or Singaporean friends to translate if you have no idea what I'm writing about. :)
• Also, many golfers flock to this area due to the many golf courses available at the luxury hotels. 
• Nothing much happens in this area except for R&R. 
• Go here to read more about this place.

• Jimbaran
• This is the spot for one of the popular must-visit places in Bali : Uluwatu. The view is gorgeous from the top. One feels like one is at the edge of the world. 
• Ok, I will be completely honest here. We are not temple enthusiasts. Thus, we were not keen to go temple-hopping on this Island of the Gods. However, if you want to at least visit one temple while in Bali, this is it. Read about the history of the Uluwatu Temple here.

Breathtaking view from the tip of Uluwatu

• Caution (DO NOT take this lightly): Leave all your sunglasses/glasses, earrings, accessories, and hold on tight to your cameras/camera phones. There are well-trained monkeys in this cliff-hanging temple that will grab your stuff and scamper off. And they are neither shy nor cute. .

Beware of these little thieves!

• Most, if not all, day trip packages to Uluwatu will end up at Jimbaran for the seafood dinner. DO NOT opt for the seafood dinner at Jimbaran. The menu is set which means every tourists who gets there are served the same kind of dishes. Imagine mass production. 'Nuff said.
• Just for reference, imagine mass production of the same kind of seafood at Tambun in Penang's mainland. But tastes much worse. Go figure. 
• If you want to visit Uluwatu, tell the guide specifically that you DO NOT want to have your Uluwatu package include dinner at Jimbaran and ask for a cheaper rate. Anything is possible in Bali. If your guide says no, ask for another guide who'd say yes.   
• Ubud 
• This place is perfect for those seeking zen and total relaxation for your holiday. It's about 3 hours drive from the airport and from the other more 'happening' areas like Kuta and Seminyak. If you pick a hotel/villa in Ubud, you'd wake up to paddy fields and mountains.
• There is a small town where one can go for some souvenir shopping at a very congested building which reminds me of Chowrasta Market in Penang. Only on a much bigger and messier scale. Come to think of it, it's very similar to the many souvenir plazas in Haatyai.
• Some said spa retreats here are heavenly. I have yet to explore that. Definitely on my to-do list for my next visit.
• Strangely, tourism is not the biggest economy booster for this place. Import of art and crafts is. Art lovers will feel like they died and went to Balinese artsy, crafty heaven. 
• Everything goes to sleep at sundown. So don't expect much of a night-life here.
• Foodies, take head. There are 2 local dishes that *must* be savored here. Lookout for my tham-ciak post shortly. 

Local Titbit:

• DO NOT go for the package that includes dinner or lunch at all the must-visit spots. i.e. Dinner at Jimbaran, Lunch at Kintamani, Dinner at Tanah Lot. They are all crappy tasting set meals charged into tour packages to suck off the tourists. We may be tourists but let's be smart ones :D
• To avoid the horrible traffic jam (which seems to be existent day and night) at Kuta, get off your taxi and walk the direction of the traffic till you see the road sign 'Poppies Lane' or ask for directions from folks around. There are 2 'Poppies Lane' that connect Kuta and Legian. Lots of folks, locals & tourists alike, take the lane to avoid the Kuta-Legian traffic jam. As you walk along, enjoy the interesting scene around. Don't worry, it's perfectly safe even late at night. 
• Unless you are up for some really rustic, back-to-basics living, I wouldn't recommend booking any hotel on Poppies Lane. It's very, erm, raw.
• Another interesting thing to lookout for in Kuta is 'Magic Mushrooms'. In many different variations. Now we know why young Aussies flock to Kuta all-year-round, eh ;) My advice, stay away from this. Unless you wanna go for a ride through hell.

Magic Mushroom are offered in many forms in Kuta.

Stay tuned for more updates in this space.

*Note*
This sharing is based on my first Bali experience which is not extensive. There is still so much more of Bali that I have yet to explore and discover. Needless to say, there are already dreams of future trips which will definitely be shared as and when they are realized. Happy reading.

A Bali Affair : Part 1 (moving around)

Bali turned out to be much, much better than I anticipated. I expected good, but I got great. So yeah, it was a mighty awesome experience. So awesome that I knew I just have to share my discoveries with you.


For ease of reading, I will share them over a few posts.


This first part will be about transportation around the island.

• From airport to hotel/villa:
• It is advisable to make prior arrangements with your hotel/villa for airport pickup. Most hotels/villas will offer this service for free with your accommodation booking. Otherwise, just walk up to the taxi counter and purchase taxi coupon to your destination. 
• DO NOT take heed of the folks swarming around the airport promising you good prices to your destination. You will most probably end up paying more.
• From hotel/villa to airport.
• Most hotels provide free airport transfer. Best to request for this when you confirm your hotel/villa reservation. They want your business, they gotta keep you happy :)
• If your hotel/villa refuses to provide free airport transfer, choose another hotel. Competition is very stiff in Bali. Very.
• To move around (short distances)
• You can safely walk around the area nearby to your hotel. Most roads are narrow and full of potholes though. So watch where you're going.  
• Be prepared to get honked at all the time. That's the taxi drivers trying to get your attention. Just ignore them if you are not interested. 
• Needless to say, you can't cover much area if you walk. 2 most popular options are:
1. Motorbikes / Scooters
• This is more for the adventurous few (if you have ridden scooters in Malaysia, this is a piece of cake).
• Rental is around IDR 50k-100k per day. The more days you rent, the lower the daily rate. 
• Make sure you check that all the lights, the horn, the brake etc are all in good working condition before you accept the motorbike/scooter (we made the mistake of not checking the lights and ended up having a scary experience riding in the dark at night)
  
2. Taxis (local term: Taksi)
   
• As with all touristy places, this can be a rather tricky affair. 
• General rule is to lookout for "BlueBird" taxis but you can safely get into any taxis that agree to use the meter. 
• Make sure you INSIST on the driver using the meter. Some rather unscrupulous drivers have asked for 3 to 4 times more than the usual meter price. It may be cheap but it always feels crappy to be suckered.
  
• For more taxi details, go here to read up.  
• To move around (long distances)
• At the Ngurah Rai International Airport, there are many pamphlets and brochures offering day trips, packages, etc. These pamphlets and brochures are free for all tourists. Take a few copies back to your hotel to read through. Take your time reading through all the packages before deciding on which ones to go for. Better still, get friends who have been there or planning trips before you to bring home some brochures. You can then digest them at home ground. That way, you can hit Bali running ;)
  
• There are many packages offering driver and guide services. You can either call the number on the pamphlets or get your hotel reception to call on your behalf.
• For a minimum of 2 persons, you can book an entire MPV plus the driver for the day. The charge is per head.
• Prices range from USD30 - USD 100 depending on the activities/places that interest you. 
  
• Take heed my fellow Penang and Singaporean friends, Bali is a biiiiiigggggg island. Traveling from one place of interest to another can easily take 3 hours or more. Prepare good reading material. Or good company. 

Local Titbit:

• 'Macet' (pronounced 'maa-chet') = Traffic Jam
• Read about Bluebird's interesting history here.
• Watch out for the bikes with huge hooks by the side. Then try to guess what those hooks are for. We had a fun time guessing that one out! (it was off-peak season)
  

Stay tuned for more updates in this space.

*Note*
This sharing is based on my first Bali experience which is not extensive. There is still so much more of Bali that I have yet to explore and discover. Needless to say, there are already dreams of future trips which will definitely be shared as and when they are realized. Happy reading.

Stamping Us

In one more week, it will be 7 years.

-------

Nobody warned us how Time will creep up on us like that!

 

Guess we were just having too much fun

:D

A blessed journey

It came.
And it went.

You asked me if I was happy.
I said I am. I know I am.
I just sometimes forget how much I should be.
Can you blame me? The world gets testy sometimes.

I know I've travelled a long way.
Am I tired? You asked.
You betcha.
Will you stop to rest awhile? You asked again.
To smell the roses, sure.
To give in to Life's excuses, hell no!

Regrets? Nope.
Surely if you could turn back Time, you'd do certain things differently? You insisted.
Seriously, I wouldn't have it any other way. Any other time.
It has just been too deliciously good.

Every single day, I count my blessings.
For everything and everyone.
And yes, that includes you.

Time

It may seem hard sometimes.
It may be too much of an uphill climb sometimes.
But most times, at all times, I will love you till the end of time.

This I promise you.

A full 2011, an even fuller 2012

New Year resolutions? None. Am never one for all the drama and annoucement.
For me, it's always been the same motto : Live & Love to the fullest.

And every year, I am consistently surprised with what Life & Love has dished out for me. To my delight, 2011 has been a palate of many wonderful discoveries.


Memories of my 2011 adventures :

• New life in a new land.


• Brief layover at desert city and confirmed that I will never be able to live in a desert. Ever.


• Discovering exotic Brazil and meeting some awesome locals.


• Confirmed the theory that language is never a barrier when there's sincere friendship.


• Jumped off a cliff and survived to tell the tale (I still owe a post on this one, I know. Whoops)


• Fell in love with Taiwan and resolved to make it my next port of call in Life.


• Survived a 16-hour beach rave party and met some pretty awesome folks from many exotic lands.

Most of all,

• Survived and actually enjoyed a LDR.


• Learnt new respect for the motto "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

And what does 2012 have in store for me?
So far, the plans for the first half involves Bali, India and Ozzieland.

Hold on tight. The ride ahead is surely gonna be exciting!